I started April’s 365 Project out by saying I was going to do free mini portrait sessions for my friends. A different person every day. It really was going great until the last 4 days of the month. I had trouble lining someone up, plans changed, people were busy. I got really stressed. I had to complete the month. I had to finish what I started.
I’m too much of a perfectionist sometimes.
The problem with it this time was after a couple days of this scrambling stress to find someone willing to pose for me I started to not want to pick up the camera. I wasn’t having fun anymore. I wanted to take a break. I was so irritated with this unusual frustration that I started to shut down a bit. When I get over-stressed I tend to focus on only the negative things, the lack of training I have, the technical questions rattling around in my brain. I start to question why I’m doing this.
I had to push through it and make myself edit a session and write this blog post. There are a couple pictures here that I love. More than love. There are some pictures in this set that I’m super proud of. I was starting to feel much better about myself.
And then that night, Gavin and I were flipping through my iPhone pictures and came across this photo….. and suddenly all the stress went away. A random capture on my iPhone. Something so simple about everything in this photo and I feel like I got myself realigned.
There is something super liberating by setting a goal – taking a picture every day – and realizing that sometimes, things will happen and you won’t reach it. I didn’t take a picture yesterday, didn’t pick up my camera at all. I didn’t even use my iPhone to take a picture.
You know what…. It’s going to be ok, because it’s the little things that matter. The tiny details in having fun at the playground with my kids. The realization that I am doing what I love and will keep trudging along when I feel bad.